


The Pleasures of the Flesh

by bladespark



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Asexual adjacent, Dominant Crowley (Good Omens), Experienced Aziraphale (Good Omens), First Time, Food, Hedonism, Idiots talking past each other, Love Confessions, M/M, Power Bottom Crowley, Romance, Virgin Crowley (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-05
Updated: 2019-07-05
Packaged: 2020-06-11 23:07:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19552492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bladespark/pseuds/bladespark
Summary: Aziriphale is very much into earthly pleasures, and it doesn’t stop at food.  Crowley has never much bothered.  When they finally get together, the wildly inexperienced demon and they very experienced angel have a few things to sort out.





	The Pleasures of the Flesh

**Author's Note:**

> This Crowley isn't intended as *asexual* exactly, although there are certainly paralells. But this is definitely not meant to be some kind of "asexual learns to like sex" story. Not unless by "asexual" you mean "person who's never had a reproductive system and then tries one out one day" which is not quite a real world situation.

Crowley sprawled comfortably in his chair and watched Aziraphale eat.

He’d spent quite a lot of time watching Aziraphale eat down through the ages. At first it had been a very rare thing, largely caused when Aziraphale simply couldn’t contain his ridiculous obsession with food, but lately it had started to be nearly regular, and now, with the end of the world averted and Heaven and Hell both inclined to leave them be, Crowley suspected that it was about to get downright daily.

Aziraphale swallowed some particularly fine morsel and sighed with bliss, his expression rapturous. Crowley took another sip of his champagne, his own expression warmly indulgent. It was good to see Aziraphale enjoy himself. Crowley always liked seeing him happy. That was why he occasionally invited the angel out to dinner, even if he himself didn’t really care for eating. Alcohol was nice, but he liked that mostly because he liked the feeling of being drunk; He’d never connected to the joy of tasting food the way Aziraphale had. Watching the expressions cross Aziraphale’s face as he ate, on the other hand, was considerably better than “nice”.

“Ah, here comes the fish course,” said the angel in delight. “Salmon mousse. Have you ever had salmon mousse, Crowley, dear?”

“Don’t think so.” Crowley knew where this was going, Aziraphale couldn’t resist wanting to share, even though he knew Crowley wasn’t much into eating.

“Have a taste then, here.” The plate had barely been set in front of Aziraphale, but he was already holding out some fiddly little wafer with a dot of pinkish stuff on top. Crowley rolled his eyes, though of course that was invisible behind his glasses, but let the angel pop the bite into his mouth.

He chewed, and it was pleasant enough, soft and crunchy at once, the flavors mild, not overly fishy, but still distinct. Still, he just couldn’t see why Aziraphale was so obsessed with this sort of thing.

“Divine, isn’t it?” said the angel, speaking through a mouthful of his own, and Crowley laughed.

“Wouldn’t call it that. It’s nice enough.”

“Do you want another?” Aziraphale gestured at the two bites remaining on his plate.

“Nah, you have ‘em,” said Crowley, and Aziraphale didn’t argue back, he began nibbling on the remaining pieces with obvious delight.

Enough dainty little courses had vanished inside Aziraphale’s comfortably padded waistcoat region that Crowley had lost track of how many there had been when the angel leaned forward over his plate and said, “Crowley, dearest, I wanted to talk to you about something.”

Crowley felt a vague sense of alarm, since in his experience that phrase had seldom led anywhere good, but this was Aziraphale, and he wasn’t going to flee the Ritz at the mere suggestion of serious conversation. “Oh? What’s that?”

“I’m rather dense sometimes, you know,” began the angel, looking shamefaced about something or other.

Crowley found himself frowning. “Who said that? You’re not dense, you’re smart as anything. You’ve only read every book ever written.”

Aziraphale gave Crowley a rather complicated look, then smiled and shook his head. “I have not. There was a point where I had, where that was a thing one could do. Or at least come quite close, I suppose there are always the ones that never find their way out of their author’s hands. I certainly haven’t in quite some time, though. They publish something like three hundred thousand new ones every year, you know, and that’s only major presses, it’s not counting some of the more obscure methods of publication. Not even I can keep up with that. Nor would I want to, truly, but these days it’s a trial merely to keep up merely with subjects I enjoy.”

Crowley snorted. “I didn’t really mean it literally. I just meant you’re not dense.”

“But I am, Crowley dear. Did you know that in the bar, when I was discorporated, and you said you had lost your best friend, I spent quite a lot of time sadly trying to figure out who that was? It was a puzzle, because surely you don’t know any mortals that well, and wouldn’t be friends with a demon at all, and I’m the only angel you know, and well… It took am embarrassingly long time for me to realize you meant me.” He reached out and touched the back of Crowley’s hand, and Crowley was so wound up that the touch was a shock, like a jolt of static, strange and startling.

Crowley realized he was staring at Aziraphale slack-jawed and shut his mouth. “Angel…”

“That’s not all, either. So many other times through all this you made it clear how you feel about me, and I was so wrapped up in worrying about the end of the world that I didn’t even notice.”

“You’re allowed to worry about the bloody end of the world, angel,” said Crowley wryly.

“Nevertheless. I’ve been dreadfully dense. I’ve also been trying to, well, to bottle certain things up myself. I have always loved you, you know.” Aziraphale smiled sweetly, and Crowley felt his heart suddenly stop, then start again going at at least twice the rate. “Early on it was mostly that generic, angelic sort of love. We’re meant to love everything, and we mostly manage it, though there are certain humans who make it hard at times. But the more I knew you, the more it started to get rather…specific. I was very sure you wouldn’t feel the same, demons aren’t all about love, and couldn’t think of any reason why you’d love me. But now I rather suspect you might at least a tiny bit, and I know I do quite a lot. You don’t have to feel any particular way about it, but after everything that’s happened recently, I wanted to say it.”

“Angel…” Crowley had no idea what to say. His heart was racing and he felt a thousand different wild declarations of love hovering on his lips, but none of them seemed right.

“As I said, you don’t need to feel any particular way about it. I don’t expect an equal return of affection.” There was just a hint of wounded stiffness in his tone that nearly broke Crowley’s heart. He had to say _something_ , he couldn’t leave his angel hurting like that.

“I do love you, you bloody daft angel,” blurted Crowley finally. 

“Oh!” Aziraphale’s face lit up. “I thought it might just be, you know, friendship. Which is good! I would be happy! I mean being your friend is lovely. You did say ‘best friend’ and when I figured it out I was so very, very pleased! But I can’t help but hope it could be, well, more than that.”

Crowley felt himself flushing, and spared a thought for the annoyance of bodily reactions, but said, “Yeah, it is.”

“How wonderful!” Aziraphale reached out and squeezed Crowley’s hand. Just then the waiter arrived with the dessert course, and of course the angel dropped Crowley’s hand in order to pick up his fork. Crowley didn’t mind, for as he watched Aziraphale dig into his dessert, he had the thought that Aziraphale’s expression when Crowley had said he loved him had been even more delighted than the expression he wore while eating.

****

“So, where to?” asked Crowley when they were in the Bentley, with the evening turning to night in the sky above.

“Well, I hate to presume, but I was rather hoping we could go to your place,” said Aziraphale, his cheeks flushed.

Crowley felt a vague puzzlement, and tried not to scowl with it. “My place? What for? There’s not much there, you know that now.”

“Well… You do have a bed, which I rather don’t.”

Crowley blinked. “You thinking of starting to sleep, or something?”

Aziraphale laughed. “Oh Crowley, my dear, now you’re the one who’s being a bit dense. We’ve said we love each other. There are certain activities one tends to get up to after such a declaration. I am not going to insist on going all the way unless you want to, but I was, well, rather hoping for at least a nice little makeout session.”

“Oh. Oh! Ah…” Crowley found himself caught entirely flat-footed. Making out was something humans did. He hadn’t expected Aziraphale to want any of that sort of thing.

Aziraphale’s face fell. Then he put on a rather brave smile and said, “Not interested in me that way? I’m afraid I’ve rather misunderstood again, I’m quite sorry.”

Crowley felt a stab at the sadness that Aziraphale was trying to cover up. He wanted to see more of those light-up-the-room smiles, not this put-on thing.

“To be honest, I hadn’t really thought about it,” he said.

Aziraphale tilted his head slightly, his brows drawing together. “Never thought about making out? Or never thought about going all the way?”

“It’s called ‘sex’ angel, I do know that much,” said Crowley with a snort. “But neither one, really. I’ve never quite gotten the appeal.”

That got quite a lot of blinking from Aziraphale, who finally shook his head and said, “There’s all sorts of appeal!”

“Such as? We’re not humans, you know. We haven’t got a reproductive drive.”

“I know that,” said Aziraphale peevishly. “But it’s _nice_. It promotes bonding and all that. And it feels good! I mean, food is lovely, but I think sometimes that sex is even nicer.”

Now it was Crowley’s turn to blink at the angel. “You’ve done it, then? I thought your lot didn’t go in for it?”

“I haven’t got a ‘lot’, which you know perfectly well, Crowley, dear. And when I did, my ‘lot’ didn’t go in for food, either, but it’s never stopped me. Anyway, I thought _your_ lot was very into that kind of thing. Tempting mortals into lustful sin and all that.”

Crowley shrugged. “Lust has never really been my specialty. And anyway, you just put the notion in somebody’s head, you don’t do the details. They come up with those on their own. Otherwise you’d end up mucking it all up, giving gay men fantasies about women or something.”

Aziraphale shook his head. “Well, what _do_ you know about sex, then? I suppose you haven’t read any literature on the subject.”

Crowley snickered. “Nope.” He popped the “P” irreverently and grinned at the angel, who heroically refrained from actually rolling his eyes.

“Movies, perhaps?”

Crowley shrugged. “Not as such. I’ve never watched any, you know, porn. It never seemed relevant.”

“Oh dear.”

“I know the broad outlines, I’m not an idiot. Tab A goes into slot B, kind of thing. It seems relatively straightforward.” Crowley paused, then added, “Though I have always wondered how gay folks go about it, since tab A or slot B are rather missing.”

Aziraphale put his head in his hands. “Sweet Somebody.” He glanced over at Crowley. “What am I going to do with you?”

“Heh. Well, I suppose that _is_ the question.” Crowley shifted in his seat, then finally put the Bentley in gear and started driving. He headed towards his apartment. He might not have a clue what exactly he wanted to do, but he did know one thing. Seeing that lovely smile on Aziraphale’s face was his goal. That had been the goal behind dozens of little favors for the angel over the years. If food put that smile on there, and sex was better than food, well… He’d just learn how to have sex, that was all. He had known a lot of very stupid humans who seemed to have managed it. He could probably figure it out.

“I notice that we’re not headed towards the bookshop,” said Aziraphale, and his voice had gone quiet all the sudden.

Crowley glanced over at him, though only for an instant, since he was driving at his usual reckless pace. “Nope.”

“You know I wouldn’t want you to do anything you don’t want to, just for my sake,” said Aziraphale.

“I know.”

Aziraphale gave Crowley a cross look, and on an impulse Crowley gave Aziraphale his best lascivious, eye-brow-wiggling leer back. He had to swerve as soon as he looked back at the road to avoid a car whose lane he’d wandered into, but he was well used to that.

The angel stared, then broke into sudden laughter. “Oh, Crowley. It really is shocking that you’re not already an expert in sexual matters. I mean the way you walk is an invitation to temptation in and of itself! I’m surprised you haven’t been fighting men and women both off the whole time you’ve been on Earth.”

“Well who says I haven’t?” Crowley grinned. It was at least close to the truth. He’d been approached more than once, certainly.

“But you never said yes to any of them?”

“Nope.” Crowley popped the “P” again, rather enjoying this conversation. A chance to needle Aziraphale a bit was always fun.

“Whyever not?”

“I’m a _demon_. I think I mentioned I haven’t got a sex drive, you know.”

“Well neither have I, but I’ve always quite liked it. Come on, is there some other reason?”

Crowley gave a shrug. “I’m just not so into the pleasures of the flesh. I know you like all that bodily stuff, but the things I like about Earth have got more to do with the way it’s not Hell than anything else.” He paused. “Music’s nice. Art’s nice. Things you can appreciate. But plain bodily pleasure isn’t anything much.”

“And yet I notice that we’re still headed for your apartment,” noted Aziraphale. Indeed they were almost there, and Crowley finished his thought as he pulled in to park.

“I go out to dinner with you all the time, don’t I? Just mashing bits together with some random human because it makes the body feel good never seemed worth the trouble. You’re not just some random human, though.”

“Oh, Crowley. How sweet of you.” Aziraphale was smiling again, and Crowley smiled back.

There was a comfortably warm silence between them as they got out of the car and made their way up to Crowley’s apartment and into the bedroom there. It was a spare as the rest of the place, dark walls hung with a very few, very carefully selected works of art, and much of the space taken up by an enormous bed with a sleek, artful headboard.

Aziraphale had been here once already, of course, but they’d ended up staying up all night fretting about the final prophecy and what to do when Heaven and Hell came calling, so they hadn’t exactly used to bed, not even to sleep.

Now all that was over and done with, which was wonderful, and he was here to make Aziraphale happy, which was even more so. But he had no idea what in Anywhere he was doing, which was much, much less so.

“Right. So. Right.” He looked at the bed blankly, and then over at Aziraphale.

“Crowley, you really do not have to do this if you don’t want to.” Aziraphale scowled as he replied.

“I do want to,” insisted Crowley.

“For your own sake, or for mine, though?”

Crowley scowled back. “Stop trying to talk me out of it.”

“Crowley… I love you, you idiot. I’m not going to be happy if you’re making yourself miserable.”

Crowley shook his head. “It’s not a matter of miserable. It’s a matter of total indifference. I don’t give a damn about books either, but you know I’ve given you more than one. It’s not like acquiring them was suffering. This won’t be either, probably. I want to at least give it a go.”

“Well, I suppose…”

“You’ll have to show me what to do, that’s all. I’ll let you know if there’s anything I hate, I promise.”

Aziraphale heaved a sigh. “Very well.”

“Hey, don’t act like a martyr here. You’re the one about to get laid.”

Aziraphale smiled faintly. “I believe we should probably start with the makeout session. We can move on to other things if you find that enjoyable.”

Crowley gave him what he hoped was a jaunty wink. “Sounds like a plan.”

“Come over here, then,” said the angel.

Remembering what Aziraphale had said about his walk, Crowley slithered across the room with his hips swaying, only stopping when he was standing nearly toe-to-toe with Aziraphale. He noticed that the angel’s cheeks were flushed, and Aziraphale licked his lips too. Crowley grinned and pulled his sunglasses off, holding his arms out. “So. Here I am.”

“Yes. Oh my.” Aziraphale licked his lips again, and then he was reaching out, his hand cupping Crowley’s cheek. There was a gentle pressure to the touch, and Crowley responded, tipping his head. Next thing he knew Aziraphale’s lips were on his, and the angel’s other hand was on the small of his back, pulling him in close.

Their lips pressed together, and Aziraphale was moving his, doing things with them. Crowley tried his best to respond. It was all very odd and squishy and bodily. It got even more so when he felt Aziraphale’s tongue press against his lips. He’d seen enough kissing to know to part them, to meet it with his own tongue, but while there was nothing unpleasant about the taste of the angel, in fact it was quite nice, it was still just squishy body bits and dampness, and he really couldn’t see what anybody saw in it.

Still, he did his best to kiss back, feeling strange and awkward about it, but wanting to give it a proper go all the same.

Eventually Aziraphale pulled back. He was even more flushed than he had been, and Crowley noticed he was breathing faster too. That was good. The angel’s expression was uncertain, and he looked at Crowley. “So, did you like it?”

For a moment the demon considered the lie. It wasn’t as if he didn’t lie easily. But to Aziraphale? About this? No. “It was sort of _there_. You taste interesting. It was…fleshy.”

“Oh dear.”

“I didn’t mind it, I promise.”

“No, but I rather hoped that once you tried it, you’d like it.”

“It’s fine.”

“But…”

“Angel, it’s _fine!_ ” snapped Crowley. “Stop trying to reject me just to spare my feelings. It’s fine. I would tell you if it wasn’t.”

“But…”

With a low growl of frustration Crowley pushed Aziraphale up against the bedroom wall and kissed him hard and rough. He heard the angel’s muffled gasp, felt the way Aziraphale’s body first tensed in shock and then melted against his, and there was something wonderful in that, in the way Aziraphale responded to him, that made Crowley think that perhaps this would work. He didn’t feel whatever it was that Aziraphale was feeling, but he felt a kind of thrill all the same, and he made sure Aziraphale was thoroughly and completely kissed before stepping back and letting go of his lapels.

“Oh my.”

“See? I definitely don’t mind. That one was a little bit fun, even.”

Aziraphale gave himself a little shivery shake all over. “I quite agree. You can do that any time you like.”

“Good. Maybe time to try something else, though?”

“Well, probably. Ah, how do you feel about massages?”

“Huh. Sounds alright. Do you mean giving, or getting?”

“Oh, either really, but I was thinking of giving you one.”

“Want to get your hands all over me, hmm?” Crowley did the eyebrow-waggle again, and Aziraphale started laughing.

“You are utterly ridiculous, but yes.”

“Sure, that sounds nice.”

“Well, a massage tends to work better when one is without clothes.” Aziraphale managed a lascivious look, which Crowley would not have imagined in a thousand years. Or in six thousand, for that matter. Somewhat startled, Crowley nevertheless got the hint and started taking his clothes off. Aziraphale, still standing against the wall, leaned back and watched, that impossible leer still somehow on his angelic face.

Feeling extremely strange all over again, Crowley finished taking off his clothing, leaving it in an untidy pile on the floor.

“Oh. Oh dear.” Aziraphale’s leer vanished as he looked at Crowley, and the demon felt a shock of dismay.

“What’s wrong?”

“You don’t, er, have any equipment.” He gestured just below waist level, and Crowley looked down at where there was smooth skin between his legs and shrugged.

“What would I do with it?”

“I believe the idea right now is sex with me,” said Aziraphale acerbically.

“I thought right now I was getting a massage?”

“Yes, but it’s foreplay. It’s part of having sex.”

“Huh.” Crowley considered this. Aziraphale was the one who presumably knew what he was doing, so he finally nodded and said, “Alright then. I guess I’ll put one on. Er. Any specific requests?”

Aziraphale beamed at him. “I’m sure whatever seems natural to you will be just lovely.”

Crowley had a somewhat irritated thought that specifics would be much more useful than a vague reassurance, but a loose sort of image did spring to mind. The thought of having something pornographically large was amusing, but impractical, and didn’t really seem right. Instead he found himself picturing something fairly average, something that seemed like it would fit his body. Uncircumcised, of course, a demon should hardly look like he was honoring the Abrahamic covenant. He got the image well in mind and willed it to happen.

“Oh, how very nice,” said Aziraphale, approvingly.

“If you say so.” Crowley didn’t feel any different. He had a little extra bit of flesh—or three bits, really—flapping off of his nether regions, that was all.

“I do. Now lie down and let me see if I can get you warmed up a bit.”

“Alright.” Crowley flopped down on the bed.

“On your stomach, dear,” said Aziraphale, and Crowley obligingly obeyed, stretching out and pulling a pillow under his chest to make himself more comfortable.

Aziraphale climbed into the bed, and his own clothes had gone somewhere while Crowley wasn’t looking, for he was now as nude as the demon. Crowley took a moment to take in the sight. It was very pleasing, really. Aziraphale was wonderfully built, compact and strong and yet soft in all the right places. There was suddenly an odd little tingle at the base of Crowley’s spine at that thought, and it pulsed higher when Aziraphale straddled his thighs, warm skin against skin.

The angel’s strong, perfectly manicured hands ran down Crowley’s back, and that little tingle flared. It was an odd sensation, but not at all unpleasant. Crowley wondered what exactly it was. Aziraphale began to knead his back, very gently at first, working his way up. When he reached Crowley’s shoulders, Crowley could feel Aziraphale’s hips pressed against his rear as he bent over. The angel’s cock wasn’t hard yet, but it was there, and something about it added to the tingle, which seemed now to be located not just at the base of his spine but also somewhere behind his navel.

Interesting. Perhaps this had something to do with having a reproductive system. He wouldn’t have expected a cock to affect other parts of his body, but then again sex did seem to so often involve things other than genitals among humans, and Aziraphale had suggested it did for him as well…

Crowley recognized that he was being more than a little cold and analytical about this, but it really was outside his experience, and he found himself curious as much as anything else. 

Aziraphale’s hands dug in harder, finding spots of tension down Crowley’s back and insisting wordlessly that they uncoil. Crowley stopped trying to pick apart every single sensation and relaxed into it, uncoiling more than a little himself. Aziraphale’s hands were warm and strong and very pleasant. The little tingle slowly spread up his spine, starting to feel vaguely anticipatory. Crowley tried to remain relaxed and simply enjoy it.

“I wanted to ask,” said Aziraphale suddenly, when his ministrations had Crowley well and truly limp beneath him, “about love.”

“Hmm?” Crowley’s voice was as relaxed as the rest of him, and it took some effort to summon any response at all.

“When you said you loved me. I had rather assumed that, well, that it was the sort of love that comes with sex. The kind of love that wants physical intimacy. Eros, you know. But if you didn’t want that, what did you mean by it, then?”

“I did mean intimacy,” said Crowley. “Sex isn’t the only kind of intimacy.”

“But, well, I mean friends can be physically close. So why call it love?”

“I know about friendship. We’re friends too.” Crowley tried not to tense up and get snappish. Aziraphale was being very dense, it seemed. “There’s this thing called ‘romance’ though.”

“Oh. Er. Forgive me, Crowley, dearest. My old-fashioned ways have tripped me up again, I suppose.”

“Hmm? Ooo.” Aziraphale hadn’t stopped massaging all this while, and Crowley added the moan as the angel’s fingers dug into his shoulders.

“I’d been thinking about this in Greek terms. I tend to, since they have a nice assortment of words for love. But they rather fold romance and sex together into eros. The classic four Greek loves don’t include a term for romance without sex. You get philia, which maps rather well to friendship, or agape which is, you know, what angels feel for nearly everybody anyway, or eros. Well, and there’s storge, but we’re not related.”

Crowley chuckled at Aziraphale’s rambling. “I’m familiar, angel.”

“Yes, well, I suppose I should have been thinking of all that flowery unrequited European love and so on. The pining. There has definitely been pining.”

Crowley snorted, then groaned again as Aziraphale found another knot just at the base of his spine. “I don’t know if I’d call it pining.”

“Still, when you said you loved me, you meant that sort of chaste romantic love?”

“Pretty much, yeah.”

“I ah, still don’t really _require—_ ”

“Angel, if you try to talk me out of this again I’m going to draw rude doodles in the margins of all your books,” threatened Crowley.

“You wouldn’t!” Aziraphale was aghast.

“I would. _In pen_ ,” growled Crowley. “Anyway, this is…maybe getting somewhere.” The tingling at the base of his spine was a warmth and a tension is his belly now, with a little twitch just at the base of his cock whenever Aziraphale leaned over to get his shoulders and pressed his own half-hard member against Crowley’s ass. It definitely felt like anticipation, and a very pleasant anticipation at that. There might be something to this sex business after all.

“Really?” Aziraphale sounded as delighted as a kid in a candy shop, and Crowley chuckled.

“Yes, really.”

“Perhaps I should move the massage around to the other side, then.”

“If you like.”

Aziraphale climbed off of Crowley, and he rolled over obligingly. The angel was kneeling on the bed beside him, looking him up and down with interest. His eyes tended to linger on Crowley’s cock, but he noticed that they were taking the rest of him in as well. He had a flicker of concern about that, suddenly. Aziraphale hadn’t said anything about what he was attracted to, sexually. What if Crowley’s current appearance wasn’t it?

“You know, if you want something else, I can change, easy. I’ve gotten the impression that people who are into men tend to like ones who are, you know, broader about the shoulders and such.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” said Aziraphale, sounded almost offended. “I’m not ‘into men’, I’m into _you_.”

Crowley blinked at him. “You’re not into men? You’ve said you’ve had lots of sex.”

Aziraphale shrugged. “Certainly. Mostly with women, to be honest. It tends to be simpler to arrange. Some men too, though.”

This was even more confusing. “So… Wait. Does that mean I should have women’s parts instead of this, then?” He gestured at his cock. 

“Goodness no. Or, well, I suppose if you want to, that would be lovely also. But I want _you_ , Crowley dearest. I don’t give a…a…a damn what organs you have. Sex isn’t just about smashing fleshy bits together, you know. It’s about intimacy. It’s about caring. It’s about romance too. I love you, you daft demon. I like how you look, you’re ten different kinds of beautiful, but no matter what you looked like, I’d still love you.”

“Oh.” Crowley found that the little tingle in his spine had been joined by a sweet ache in his chest. The two sensation went strangely well together, what he knew was love and what he supposed was lust blending into something that was more than either. “Oh angel. I don’t… I don’t even know what to say.”

“You don’t need to say anything,” said Aziraphale, and then he was kissing Crowley again, and this time it wasn’t just fleshy bits, for the thing at the base of his spine flashed into an electric heat that ran through his entire body, and his cock twitched as Aziraphale’s warmth pressed to him, and while love glowed even brighter in his chest lust finally ignited in earnest.

He gasped into the kiss as he felt himself coming erect, the skin over his cock tightening strangely as it swelled. Aziraphale immediately pressed closer to him, kissing deeply, and there was a hardening hotness against the curve of Crowley’s belly, and a smear of dampness leaking there, and he moaned softly to know it was Aziraphale’s cock. All the world was suddenly different as fire blazed through his veins. He was hungry in a way he hadn’t known one could be, and the angel’s cock definitely had something to do with that hunger. Aziraphale pushed him down to lie flat on the bed, looming over him, and Crowley found he was panting and shivering as he looked up.

“Fuck,” he said, stunned by it.

Aziraphale ground his hips down against Crowley, their cocks side by side, and Crowley groaned helplessly. What was this? How could he be feeling this? It was a building charge of lightning, a rush of pulsing fire in every drop of blood as his heart pounded and his loins ached and he felt the anticipation he’d begun to sense earlier now turned into a desperate need. He needed… He needed… He didn’t know what he needed but Aziraphale obviously did for he reached between them, his hand curling around Crowley’s cock, and Crowley shuddered with it, for it somehow both eased the ache and fanned it at the same time. He felt like he could explode, or literally combust. How did humans even survive doing this?

Then Aziraphale started moving his hand and Crowley felt his whole body tense as the fire in his veins got even hotter, the need even stronger. “Oh fuck, angel!”

Aziraphale chuckled. “See, I told you it was nice.”

“It’s not _nice_ , it’s… Fuck. Oh fuck, fuck, fuck!”

“Yes, I suppose it’s that too.” Aziraphale sounded absolutely smug, but Crowley didn’t have any thought to spare for being annoyed at him, all his thoughts were on the astonishing thing building up in him, making his breath come in ragged gasps, making his back arch, making his head roll back and forth on the pillow beneath it, and then with a final, “Fuck! Ah!” the crest of it broke over him like a wave and he came hard into Aziraphale’s hand.

The building whatever it was transmuted after that was done, going from a cresting wave of white-hot fire to long slow slide down a hill into a pile of something soft and lovely, Aziraphale’s feathers, maybe, that Crowley could just curl up in forever. He let out a long sigh and opened his eyes again, which he hadn’t really noticed closing. Aziraphale was still bending over him, and the angel looked both absurdly pleased with himself. “Do you see why I bother with it now?”

Crowley blinked a few times, then said, even more drowsily than he had during the massage, “Yeah, guess so.”

Aziraphale leaned down and kissed Crowley tenderly on the forehead. Then he regarded his hand, which was very sticky, as was Crowley himself, and chuckled. “Let me just get that.” The mess vanished, and Crowley spared a moment to wonder how humans dealt with it. They must have to stop to wipe it up, which was probably not the end of the world, but having other options was nice. Aziraphale shifted to lie alongside him, and Crowley couldn’t help but press into the soft warmth of his embrace.

They lay like that for a long time, but eventually the pile of metaphorical fluffy angel feathers that was the afterglow of Crowley’s first orgasm began to evaporate, and he started thinking about things again. One of the first things he thought was that he’d gone into this wanting to please Aziraphale. The angel had obviously been delighted with how the whole affair had turned out, but it seemed like half the equation was missing, given that Aziraphale himself hadn’t had the wonderful bodily sensation that Crowley had just experienced.

“So, angel,” he said, trying to figure out how to say that without it sounding idiotic.

“Yes, my dearest?”

“All this bodily stuff turned out to be alright. But you’re the one who’s into it, and you haven’t, uh…”

“I have enjoyed myself immensely,” said Aziraphale, still sounding more than a little smug.

“Yeah, I could tell. Still… I should do this right.”

“I’m not sure there’s any ‘should’ about sex, my dear.”

“Well, then I _want_ to do this right.”

“I don’t know if there’s any ‘right’ either,” said Aziraphale, being prim and firm and entirely ridiculous, and Crowley scowled at him.

“Do I need to pin you up against the wall again?” he growled, and was surprised when Aziraphale flushed brightly and was suddenly breathing faster.

“Ah, well, er…”

“Oh ho!” This was an interesting discovery. “I think I do. Or at least…” Crowley rolled Aziraphale over, getting on top of him, and grabbed his upper arms to pin him down to the bed. He grinned down at the angel.

“Oh my,” said Aziraphale, his eyes suddenly very wide.

Crowley didn’t have a response to that, so he just leaned in and kissed Aziraphale, as forcefully as he could manage. He pushed his tongue demandingly into the angel’s mouth and was rewarded with a muffled, helpless moan. That tingle was starting up at the base of his spine again, that tension just behind his navel, and he felt his cock give a twitch. Aziraphale’s own erection was also very much in evidence, a hardness between their bodies. Crowley ground his hips against it and the angel’s whimper of pure need made Crowley’s own cock start to flush and harden.

This was _far_ too much fun. Unfortunately, he didn’t know what to do next. Pin down angel, kiss angel had been the entirety of his plan. The angel’s cock really did suggest he should do something about it, but what? He wiggled his hips again, almost idly, while he thought, and Aziraphale whimpered again.

“Crowley…”

“Hmm?” Crowley’s eyebrows raised in a teasing question.

“Crowley, please…”

“Please what, angel?”

“I… Oh my. Please, I… I want you.”

“And just exactly _how_ do you want me, angel?”

Aziraphale went absolutely scarlet, not responding immediately, and just for fun Crowley ground his hips down on the angel again. The desperate whimper Aziraphale let out was completely indecent. “What was that?” asked Crowley, feeling evil in the best possible way.

“ _Crowley…_ ”

“Remember, I haven’t the foggiest what I’m doing.” Crowley grinned. “You’re going to have to tell me _exactly_ what you want, angel. Probably in detail. And no cheating and coming out with something you think I’ll like. I want to know what you _really_ want.”

“Oh dear. Oh Crowley. I… I want… Oh merciful heavens. I…”

“Hmm?”

Aziraphale was quite the shade of scarlet, and the blush went well below his neck. He turned his head away and blurted out, “Iwanttobeinsideyou.”

Crowley felt a peculiar shiver go through him. Aziraphale was completely adorable, and also sexy as fuck in that moment, and Crowley _wanted_ him. The idea of having the angel in him, intimately inside was wonderful. Not just tab A into slot B after all. The only problem was that there was no slot B. Did Aziraphale mean that he should change to have one? Or did he mean something else? Still Crowley’s ignorance was, at the moment, just one more way to get Aziraphale even more adorably flustered and even more sexily worked up.

“In detail, angel, remember. Inside me where? Inside me how?”

Aziraphale whined again, a sound of frustrated desire, and squirmed under Crowley, which was just delightful. Crowley tightened his grip on the angel’s upper arms and chuckled. “Tell me.”

“I… Oh dear… I, uhm…” Another whimper and wiggle and Aziraphale finally came out with. “I, uh, want to be in you anally.”

Ah. So that was an actual option and not just a joke. Crowley’s first reaction was that it sounded pretty strange. But the way Aziraphale was already half-undone just saying it was incredible. What would it do to the angel to actually _do_ it? 

Time to find out. 

Crowley licked his lips. He was very much aware of the renewed hardness of his own cock, but even more so of Aziraphale’s pressing against him. He sat back, letting go of the angel’s arms, and shifted, lifting himself up, letting the angel’s cock spring upright between them.

“You… Uh… Ohmy. You’re, er, going to need lube,” said Aziraphale, still scarlet nearly to his toes.

Crowley snapped his fingers, and there was a little bottle in his hand, which he then pressed into Aziraphale’s. “Why don’t you take care of that, hmm?”

Aziraphale opened the bottle with somewhat unseemly haste, and it took no time at all for him to have his fingers slicked and pressing at Crowley, and then not so much “at” as “into.”

It was a very peculiar sensation, but even if it had been unpleasant, Aziraphale’s obvious eagerness would have made it bearable, and it wasn’t unpleasant at all, just strange. Crowley relaxed into it, letting Aziraphale stretch and stroke within him. Then Aziraphale’s fingers were pushing deeper, twisting, curling just so, and pleasure shocked through Crowley—sudden, unexpected, irresistible. His back arched and he felt his wings snap into existence involuntarily as it took him completely by surprise. “Ah! Oh, fuck!”

Breathing hard he looked down at Aziraphale, who had that smug little smile back. Aziraphale did it again and Crowley couldn’t bite back another cry, wings flexing and shivering. With a low growl he took charge, pulling off of Aziraphale’s fingers, pulling the one hand around and then pinning both to the bed. “None of that,” he said firmly. “It’s your turn, angel. Now hold still.”

Aziraphale’s eyes went wide, and then even wider, a gasp escaping him, as Crowley let go of one wrist to take Aziraphale’s cock in his hand. He positioned it, pressing against where the angel’s fingers had been a moment before and shifted, looking for the right angle—and very much enjoying the little gasps and whimpers Aziraphale let out as he did so—before finally finding it and beginning to sink down.

Having the angel’s cock in him was much better than having his fingers had been. Crowley felt it sliding over that one spot as he settled firmly down on it, sending a shudder of pleasure through him. His wings rustled with it, and he thought about putting them away, but it seemed like far too much effort just now. He looked down at Aziraphale, whose eyes had rolled back in pure bliss as Crowley took him inside. The expression on the angel’s face was far, far better than anything Crowley had ever seen while he was eating even the finest and most gourmet of foods, and the demon felt a different sort of pleasure added to the purely physical one.

He sank down as deeply as he could, feeling a pleasant ache within as he ground himself down on Aziraphale’s hips. Aziraphale moaned helplessly, writhing under Crowley, tugging at where Crowley had grabbed his wrists again.

“Now, now, angel. You don’t _actually_ want to escape, do you?”

Aziraphale’s eyes snapped open and he stared at Crowley, but all that came out from his mouth was another moan as Crowley rocked his hips. The demon kept Aziraphale firmly pinned as he began to ride him, his wings spread out like a canopy over them both.

“Oh, Crowley. Oh, sweet Somebody. Oh, you feel so good,” moaned Aziraphale, lifting his hips to Crowley’s motions.

“Yeah,” said Crowley breathlessly, head tipped back, wings stretching wider, trembling. Aziraphale did feel good. His cock was rubbing that spot with each stroke, making the wonderful something build in Crowley again, but he wanted Aziraphale to come first this time. He clenched himself around the angel’s cock, doing the only thing he could think of to increase the intensity of it, and was gratified to hear Aziraphale gasp and then cry out, “Oh, Crowley!” in response.

“Come on, angel,” said Crowley, panting. “Come on. I want you to feel it. Come on, come for me.”

“Oh, heavens! Oh, Crowley! Oh _yes!_ ” That last was nearly a shout, and Aziraphale convulsed beneath him, his own wings suddenly appearing, splayed across the bed. His head was thrown back, his body arching, pleasure writ in every line of him. It was glorious, and Crowley drank in the sight of it as he continued to ride Aziraphale through it. He could feel the angel’s cock twitching and pulsing within him, knew he was being filled with Aziraphale’s seed, and it seemed to him that this moment was beyond perfection.

Aziraphale finally went limp beneath him with a long descending sigh of utter relaxation, and Crowley stopped moving. He didn’t lift off of the angel’s cock, though, he stayed there, basking in the feeling of being joined together, in the knowledge of how much he’d pleased his perfect angel, and watched Aziraphale’s face as he lay in dazed bliss for a long time.

Eventually Aziraphale’s eyes blinked open, and he looked up at Crowley above him with such love in them. Suddenly Crowley understood all over again why humans did this. The physical thing he’d felt before had been amazing, but this look, this shining thing that _he_ had caused on his love’s face…that would have been worth it even if the act itself had been sheerest torture.

Aziraphale reached up and cupped Crowley’s cheek with his hand. “I love you so much, Crowley, dearest.”

Crowley smiled contentedly down at him, putting his own hand over Aziraphale’s, and said, “I love you too, my angel.” With a little chuckle he added, “This bodily pleasure stuff isn’t half bad, either.”

**Author's Note:**

> I picture that going forward Aziraphale is mostly the one who starts things. He's unable to resist the idea of more bodily delights whenever it occurs to him, pulling Crowley aside for a little kiss, inviting him somewhere private with that very un-angelic look, kind of thing, but once they get there Crowley is the one who takes over, much to Aziraphale's delight. And that every now and then Crowley just jumps on him and shags him silly, solely because he can.
> 
> This was a lot of fun to write. I just love bouncing these two idiots off of each other. I went into this with the hedonist, experienced Aziraphale thing as the concept, but came out with the Greek Loves vs. European Romance misunderstanding as kinda my favorite thing about it. Also inexperienced yet toppy Crowley is, ah, loosely based on somebody I knew in person and that was fun to do too.
> 
> If you'd like to see me talk about writing, my works in progress, other creative endeavors, and my life in general, check out [my Dreamwidth blog](https://bladespark.dreamwidth.org/).


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